Mirrored
by Sulky Shadow
Summary: Robin won't admit it, but there are some things he enjoys about being Slade's apprentice.
1. Mirrored

**A/N:** This completely ignores Apprentice Pt. 2.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans. All characters go to their respectful owners. I only own this story.

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><p><strong>Mirrored<strong>

Robin hides in the shadows of the building. He knows he shouldn't be here; he should be with his friends, but Slade tells him what to do now, and right now, Slade is telling him to steal.

"_I have been searching for an apprentice. And I've chosen you. Congratulations."_

Slade isn't Robin's favorite person in the world, but when his friends are threatened, he'll do anything for the villain. But Robin doesn't see Slade as the villain, not really. To him, Slade is more of a mentor—a cruel mentor, but a mentor nonetheless. The entire time Robin has been working for him, Slade has only tired to help him become stronger. Sure, sometimes that requires a swift kick in the stomach to get him to listen, but Robin is known for his smart-mouth.

They've come to an agreement, now: Slade gets what he wants stolen if, once a week, he allows Robin to go against him in a fair fight. After all, Robin thinks, how else is he supposed to determine how much stronger he needs to be to defeat Slade? Slade knows why Robin does it, and he approves; they have that push-and-pull relationship that never ceases. When Robin learns a new move, Slade learns to dodge it faster.

Stealing an insignificant token every week seems like a fair trade for learning to defeat an enemy that has followed him for a lifetime. Besides, Robin doesn't think stealing is all that bad.

"_You're going to keep getting that thrill, Robin."_

Robin has never told anyone, and he'll never admit to it, but there's something about the idea that he's not allowed to be caught that excites him. As a child, he always loved the game hide-and-seek, but he had never thought anything of it. Now, he knows that it was a warning; but he thinks nothing of it. The past is the past. Right now, he's living in the present, stealing for Slade, and loving every minute of it.

His friends won't understand if he tells them that the thought of stealing someone's freedom or ability to do evil is what keeps him going. Sure, he is happy to keep the city safe, but everyone is interested in self-service. No one does anything out of the good for others unless they get something out of it; Robin is no different.

"_You don't have to act like Slade."_

That's what his friends tell him whenever he has to confront them. He would like to tell them that he isn't acting like Slade, that he's still Robin, but he knows that if he tells them that, he'll lose his friends forever. Even if he works for Slade, Robin knows they will never be anything more than master and apprentice. So Robin holds on to his friends, even if they don't see him as a Titan anymore: he's gone against them far too many times.

Raven was the first to give up on him, though Robin understands: she is not guided by false hope and wishes, even if Robin has always viewed her as the most hopeful, she's still a realist. Cyborg was next after he realized Raven was right, and Beast Boy followed days after. Starfire was the last to give up on him, and Robin is still grateful for that, but he knows they no longer pull their punches when they fight him. Robin still pulls his, though, because he doesn't want to be the cause of their demise. He may work for Slade, but he's not as cruel as him.

"_Come now, Robin. You don't even trust them; you've never trusted your friends."_

When Slade had first said that, Robin had attempted to punch him in the face and ended up with a black eye. But he understands now, and he knows Slade is right. After all, if Robin trusted his friends, he wouldn't be in this situation. However, that doesn't mean Robin isn't taking advantage of how things have turned out. He made the decision to sneak out as Red X and not tell a soul, and now he has gained a 'partnership' with the man he has worked so hard to get close to. Even if Robin no longer has the support of his friends, he doesn't wish he could change anything. He'd said from the very beginning that he worked alone, and he doesn't go back on his word. To him, the Titans had been his back up if he failed to perform a job, but they had failed him too many times, and he had learned to not rely too heavily on them.

"_All you care about you destroy."_

Robin knows this fact well. He'd cared about his mentor, and his family, and everything else that had been destroyed. So he has learned not to care. He's distanced himself from everyone so they won't get hurt. Now, when Robin confronts his friends, he feels no remorse. He does not feel nostalgia for the days that he and the Titans were a team. Robin isn't a Titan anymore; maybe he never was. He's not sure what he should call himself now; 'Slade's apprentice' has never sounded appealing, even if Slade frequently calls him that. No, Robin would consider himself to be 'Nightingale,' now. He's outgrown the name that was been given to him at a younger age. The Robin others know is long gone; he's dropped the act that he has kept up for so long.

Slade has been right about many things that he has told Robin. He's been right about Robin's friends, his feelings, even how he thinks. Even after working for Slade for several months, Robin still hasn't found one argument to Slade's latest comment about he being a cold killer.

Robin can't agree with Slade yet, seeing as he's yet to kill anyone; but he's sure Slade will have him do it soon. And Robin will be ready.

Slade has hardened the soft, innocent teenage boy that Robin once was. He's the reason Robin is standing in front of his old friends right now, about to face-off again for the third time this week, without a trace of fear or regret.

"_You're becoming more like me every second."_

That's where Slade is wrong. Robin isn't becoming more like Slade; he's always been like him.


	2. Forgetting

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans. All characters go to their respectful owners. I only own this story.

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><p><strong>Forgetting<strong>

The sirens fill the night as Robin skirts the edge of the building. Slade is having him steal from Wayne Industries again—apparently they've developed another weapon Slade wants. Who was stupid enough to call the police, anyway? Robin thinks, annoyed. He hasn't even infiltrated the facility yet, nor has he tripped any alarms. The police don't yet know whom they're dealing with seeing as they haven't spotted Robin yet.

"_Get __in __there __and __steal __the __device __now __or __I __push __this __button,_" Slade hisses in his ear.

Robin sprints past one of the men passing. He hears the man call out who's there, but Robin ignores it. A light catches his figure, but Robin doesn't pause; he's so close to the door. A man steps in front of Robin, blocking his way. Robin waits impatiently for him to register the shock.

"R-Robin?"

Robin doesn't hesitate as he shoves past him. That took long enough, he thinks. He pauses, determining his location in the building: Slade has had him memorize the blueprints of the building, so he will know where the device is at any location. Robin realizes he is at the farthest point away and begins the long journey towards his goal. Along the way, he encounters several cops, but they are disarmed quickly because of their surprise at seeing Robin—didn't that one inform the rest of whom they were going against? But that's irrelevant now: he has reached the device and is home free.

Getting back to Slade is simple. All Robin has to do to lose the police is throw a smoke grenade. Apparently, they are too discouraged by the fact that the savior of their city has gone dark to give chase. As Robin runs across the rooftops, he realizes that he's lost any friendships and trust that he might have had with the police, but he doesn't care. The police wouldn't have been able to help him anyway.

Slade is annoyed at his tardiness when Robin returns, and Robin can't help but agree—he still hasn't figured out why the police were there in the first place. Regardless, Robin has retrieved the device and Slade adds another weapon to his suit before Robin is allowed to go to bed.

The next day is spent training with Slade, and Robin can't help but think that his fighting has drastically improved since he's become Slade's apprentice. That's good, he thinks, because it means he is closer to defeating his 'master.' Afterwards, while they're taking a water break, Slade informs him:

"You'll be stealing from the Titans today."

Robin is caught off guard, but he represses his surprise and nods. The Titans? Robin had hoped this day wouldn't come, but he knows he can't show weakness, or Slade will dispose of whatever is holding him back. In this case: the Titans.

"Yes, sir."

Slade gives him the rest of the day to prepare and practice any training he thinks he will need for tonight. As he hits the punching bag, Robin slowly represses the emotions that arise as he recalls his old friendships. He ignores the regret he feels for joining Slade, and the happiness he remembers when he thinks of the good times they had together. Eventually, he manages to turn it all into anger by telling himself that they deserted him with his worst enemy. By the time Slade tells him it's time to leave, Robin is furious and ready to enact some revenge.

A faint feeling of nostalgia fills Robin as the large T comes into sight, but he ignores it and remembers his newfound hatred. By the time he is entering the building, he is null to the world; a hippo could have come crashing through the wall and he wouldn't have batted an eye at it.

Robin is looking for one of Cyborg's new weapons. Slade knows he has built one because he had Robin tell him all of the passwords and codes he needed for him to hack into the Teen Titan's computer system. Now that the device is finally complete, Slade is having Robin retrieve it so they will have another weapon, and the Titans will be without it. Robin knows if Slade wanted to, he could simply look at the technology and replicate the weapon, but he agrees with Slade: it's easier to simply steal it and save the time.

The mission is almost complete when Raven becomes aware of his presence and alerts the other members. Robin stares disinterestedly at them once they've assembled. He ignores their looks of surprise at his appearance and Cyborg's: "Titans, go!" and slips into his battle stance quickly. Maybe it's because it's so late, or maybe it's because they can't believe Robin would break into his old home for Slade, but Robin can tell they're not giving it their all. He decides that to make them angrier, he should use Cyborg's weapon against them and see how they react. It does the trick. Cyborg becomes furious at the idea that Robin is stealing what he worked so hard on and no longer hesitates when he aims his cannon at Robin. Beast Boy's animals become more vicious and he does everything he can to take Robin down. Raven doesn't show it, but Robin can tell she's angry because her attacks are now more powerful and sloppy. Starfire is the only one that seems to hesitate even more, but Robin ignores her; the fewer Titans he has to fight, the better.

Eventually, Robin grows tired of having them destroy their own tower, and he throws down an explosive to knock back the Titans while he makes his escape. Slade would say the spike in his heartbeat was from guilt, but Robin knows better.

He doesn't care what happens to the Titans. Not really.


	3. Transformations

**Warning:** This chapter could be a bit gruesome if you have a queasy stomach.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans. All characters go to their respectful owners. I only own this story.

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><p><strong>Transformations<strong>

"It's time you learned how to kill."

Robin doesn't bat an eye. "Whom am I going to kill?"

Slade glances over him. "No one yet, but I think it's high time you learn the basics."

During the course of the next week, Robin spends much of his time with Slade, being taught the finer parts of human anatomy. Slade lectures him on the most efficient ways to silence someone and how to ensure that little to no mess remains after the fact. Normally Robin would be sickened at how fragile the human life is, and how easily it can be taken away, but he's too fascinated with the knowledge of how simple it is to suffocate someone with something as simple as a bit of string and a spoon.

Finally, the discussions turn into debates about the best way to make your enemy talk. At first, Robin is curious as to how Slade is so familiar with the different techniques of torture, but then he recognizes a reoccurring theme: all of his ideas have been used in wars. Robin almost laughs at the though. It seems only fitting that the man who is lecturing him on how to commit hideous crimes was once part of the army and serving his country.

Eventually, when Slade deems Robin ready, he declares that he would like Robin to join him on one of his personal missions. Robin has always wondered what it was that Slade did when he would disappear at night and come back strangely pleased with himself the next morning. He supposes this explanation is fitting for Slade's character.

Before they leave, Slade explains that their mission is to get information and get out. Robin doesn't ask how he intends to gain his information.

After a few hours of tracking, they manage to hunt down the target and subdue him. They carry him to an abandoned building away from any area of civilization and tie him up securely so he won't escape while they interrogate him.

When the man finally regains consciousness, Slade steps in front of him and asks him for the information he requires, delivering a well-placed punch when the man refuses. After several minutes of this, the man is coughing up blood, and Slade switches tactics.

"Get the pliers," he says to Robin.

Robin swallows nervously as he realizes what Slade plans to do. But he doesn't object as he reaches for the toolbox. If Robin has learned anything under his apprenticeship with Slade it's that you never speak out against him in public. Nothing matters more to Slade than his reputation.

Robin locates the desired tool and holds it out for Slade, but Slade doesn't make any move towards them, and Robin realizes why Slade has brought him on this mission: he intends to have Robin torture the man as well.

His stomach drops as he looks down at the pliers, but he represses his feelings and advances towards the man. Robin can see the fear and uncertainty in the man's eyes as clear as day. He has no idea what Robin plans to do with the pliers, and Robin almost wishes he never has to find out. But Slade is watching, and before Robin can convince himself to turn back, he places the pliers into the man's mouth and pulls.

The screams that fill the air leave Robin's ear's ringing, and when he looks down he almost vomits at the sight of the bloody tooth he now has gripped with the pliers. The smell of blood is overpowering and Robin has to take a step back to catch his breath. He barely hears Slade repeating his question again over the sound of his own thoughts.

_Batman wouldn't approve of this._

But Batman isn't here, Robin thinks back. He works for Slade now, and Slade lives by a different set of rules than the great Batman.

Out of the corner of his eye, Robin sees Slade motion him over to pull another tooth, and Robin steps forward. The screams aren't as piercing this time around and Robin ignores the bile that rises in his throat as he examines the tooth. By now the man is almost covered in as much sweat as he is blood, but he still refuses to reveal his secrets. Fighting for a hopeless cause, Robin thinks.

The hours blur together as the torture continues. Robin slowly learns to repress the queasiness he feels at the sight of blood and finds himself analyzing what techniques cause the man the most pain.

Finally, after hours, the man finally reveals what Slade wishes to know and Slade relieves him of his suffering by shooting him through the head. Robin finds himself admiring the pattern the blood makes on the wall.

When they return, it is almost dark outside and Slade instructs Robin to retire for the evening. But Robin spends most of the night staring at the ceiling and listening to the ringing in his ears that still hasn't gone away.

Eventually, he decides to get some fresh air when remembering the smell of blood becomes too much. It's cold outside, but it allows Robin to clear his head. He thinks about the Titans and what they would do if they knew he had helped Slade capture and murder someone. He remembers Raven and how the two of them would sit atop the Tower and just talk. He remembers that Raven once told him of her father, a beast feared by everyone in the galaxy, and he smiles as he recalls what she said after revealing one of her deepest secrets:

"I'm never going to let him beat me."

Robin realizes that Raven is right. He may not be able to do anything about this situation, but he can make the best of it. Even if that means letting go of what he's grown up believing and accepting Slade's way of thinking.

The sunrise transforms the black sky to a blood red, and Robin finds himself perfectly okay with the fact that he's comparing something so beautiful and pure to something so tainted. He wonders when he began tolerating and even embracing such criminal behaviors. But then he realizes that he doesn't really care.


	4. Ghosts

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans. All characters go to their respectful owners. I only own this story.

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><p><strong>Ghosts<strong>

Robin is placing his dishes from breakfast in the sink when he is suddenly struck from behind. He whips around, but there's no one there. After a moment of looking around he decides to continue cleaning up after himself, but another blow to the head sends him stumbling and crashing into the table behind him. The room is silent for a moment before he receives another blow, just below the eye.

"Who's there?" he calls out, refusing to touch the now-tender skin on his cheek.

Slade laughs next to him.

Robin spins around, but he doesn't see anyone. He's beginning to think he's gone insane when the lights suddenly go off. Robin looks around wildly while his eyes adjust, expecting another blow, but once he can see again, he sees Slade is standing in front of him. Robin blinks in shock.

"Like the new invention?" Slade asks, as if they were discussing the weather and not just having a one-sided fight a moment ago.

At first, Robin doesn't know what Slade is talking about, but then his eyes move downward and he notices Slade looks different. It's difficult to see without much lighting, but Robin can see that instead of his usual orange and black suit, Slade is wearing something that is more black and murky green.

"This material disappears in light," Slade explains, upon Robin's questioning look. To prove his point, he moves to the light switch and turns it on. Robin watches in amazement as the man vanishes.

"What'll we use this suit for?" Robin can only imagine how much easier his missions will be when no one can find him—although a part of him is a bit disheartened at the thought that he might not be able to fight during them anymore.

But Slade's response is less than satisfactory. "We can't do anything yet. This suit runs on Zirconium, and my supply is low." As Slade speaks, Robin catches a flicker of him by the light switch. "I'm sure you know where to find some."

Robin nods at the hidden order and steps away from the table he has been leaning against. Straightening his shoulders, Robin walks past where he knows Slade is still standing and tries to keep the emotions off of his face. Slade can't know how excited he is about this idea of not being seen. Robin is supposed to be the good guy; he isn't allowed to take pleasure in what the bad guy does. As soon as the kitchen door shuts, however, Robin allows a small smile to creep onto his face.

A few hours later, Robin returns from his mission with as much Zirconium as he can carry. He walks up to Slade—who is working with some sort of fabric—and drops the duffle bags at the man's feet. Slade looks pleased when he sees the bags. "Professor Chang was very generous."

"Actually," Robin corrects, "he wasn't home. But I'm sure he won't mind if we borrow some."

"Very well." Robin can hear Slade smiling at Robin's hidden message. "If you think this will be enough to power your suit, then you may train until I am finished."

"My suit?"

Slade holds up the material sitting next to him. Robin recognizes it as his Red X suit. "I'm just making a few modifications."

Robin takes a step back, but then stops himself and nods. He doesn't voice his objections at seeing his old suit. He doesn't tell Slade that the Red X outfit still holds dark memories for him. And he definitely doesn't show his hesitation on his face. Robin knows that Slade doesn't care what Robin thinks about the suit. Nor does he care about his apprentice's regrets. Plus, Robin realizes, he still wants to try the suit out, even if it means looking like the person he has tried to leave behind.

Slade doesn't make a comment on Robin's behavior as the teen walks out of the room and towards the training room. Robin is grateful for this, even though he is fairly certain Slade already knows what he thinks about the idea.

While Slade fixes up the Red X suit for his apprentice, Robin spends his time training and going on missions for Slade. None of the missions are very difficult, and Robin is able to perform almost all of them without alerting the Titans or police. At night, Robin stares up at the ceiling and finds himself daydreaming about the endless possibilities with a suit that can't be seen. He imagines that it looks like his outfit now, but he doesn't know for sure because Slade won't let him see it.

After a few weeks, the suit is finished and Slade finally allows Robin to see what has haunted his thoughts for almost a month. He finds it isn't at all what he was expecting.

It is still a full-body suit—for obvious reasons—but it isn't completely white now, and the red X marking the facemask is gone. In their place is more colorful cloth, with markings over the eyes that look akin to a mask. After a moment, Robin realizes it has been made to look like the clothing he wore as a Titan. The only exception is the white cloth that covers the mouth, but it makes the "mask" stand out even more.

"Well?" Slade asks, after giving Robin a moment to let the image sink in.

"It looks like…me," Robin answers slowly. He turns to look at the older man. "Why?"

Instead of answering, Slade asks another question. "I think the Titans have missed you this past month. Why not pay them a visit?"

Despite his best efforts, Robin can't help the smile that finds its way onto his face.

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><p>Robin stands atop the Titan Tower and looks over the water. He has forgotten how much he enjoys the smell of salt in the air. Staying inside all day to train has its benefits, but also its drawbacks. He pushes this thought aside with a shake of his head. He doesn't regret his decisions, not one.<p>

Breathing in one last lungful of salty air, Robin presses the button on his belt, activating the Zirconium, and finds himself in one of the many hallways of the Titan Tower. After a moment of examining his surroundings, Robin realizes he his near Starfire's room. Smiling at his luck, he makes his way down the hall.

The door barely makes a sound as it opens, revealing Starfire's sleeping form. Robin walks over slowly, making sure that he doesn't step on anything that would disturb the Tamaranian. Getting to the bed is easy enough, but then Robin is faced with the choice of how he will wake her up. He almost doesn't want to, simply because of the fact that she looks so innocent and cute—he hasn't seen her look this peaceful since he joined Slade. Robin shakes his head. Where had that thought come from? He pushes the matter from his mind as he leans down, his mouth a mere inch from Starfire's ear.

"Star, wake up," he whispers.

That does the trick. Starfire's eyes open almost immediately, and Robin makes sure that he is a good distance away from her so she won't be able to touch him and ruin his plan.

As Starfire's eyes adjust to the darkness, her eyes widen as they come to rest on Robin.

"Robin?" she asks.

When Robin doesn't answer, Starfire turns to the lamp by her bed—just as Robin had hoped she would. As the light flickers on, Robin knows he has vanished, even without the look of confusion Starfire has written clearly on her face.

_Poor girl, she doesn't know what's happening._

Robin can't help but smile at the thought. Who knew tormenting people—especially old friends—would be so fun?

"Robin?" Starfire calls again. Does she really expect him to answer? Does she even want him to? Robin finds it almost touching how she still has hope that he will return to them. Little does she know his true reason for returning.

Giving the room one last glance, Starfire turns the light off again and closes her eyes, seemingly forgetting the fact that she had seen her friend just moments ago.

That doesn't sit well with Robin: he doesn't like being forgotten so easily. So he walks back over to the bed and leans in.

"Starfire."

Her eyes are open in a flash, and she sits up quickly in bed, looking around wildly. Once again her eyes fall upon Robin, and her face becomes confused again.

"I do not understand. Robin is not here. Why do I see him?" she asks herself. "Is it you Robin? Have you returned to us?"

Robin remains silent. However, instead of turning away as she had before, Starfire gets out of bed and begins walking towards him. Still Robin doesn't say a word, nor does he move as she gets closer. Instead, just before she reaches him, Robin activates the Zirconium and teleports back towards the door. This seems to confuse Starfire even more, and it only seems to feed her desire to discover what she is seeing. That's fine with Robin, and he doesn't move as she draws closer.

As Starfire closes the distance between the two, she holds out her hand as if to touch him, but Robin teleports to the end of the hallway before they touch.

"Robin!" Starfire's cry rings out through the tower.

The lights flicker on as the Titans begin to wake up from the noise, and Robin makes sure to watch his back closely so as not to be hit in the confusion.

"Star?" Beast Boy asks sleepily, rubbing his eyes as they adjust to the sudden assault from the light bulbs.

"Friend Robin has returned."

That seems to wake everyone up.

"Where, Star? Is he stealing again?" Cyborg asks, looking around as if Robin would be waiting for him.

"No, he does not like to have the light shine on him."

"What?"

Starfire turns the lights off again and points to where Robin stands. The rest of the Titans gasp as their eyes fall upon their former leader.

"Robin? That can't be Robin. Robin works for Slade now," Beast Boy says, dumbfounded.

"My suit says that's Robin," Cyborg answers.

Robin decides now is a good time to start his mission and he activates the Zirconium, teleporting him out of the hall. He does, however, teleport close enough to hear the Titans' startled cries and Cyborg's order to, "Search for him!" Robin smiles to himself—this is going to be fun. As the Titans split up in search of him, Robin singles out a single Titan and decides to mess with them. He starts with Beast Boy, as he seems the easiest to fool.

By the time the sun is starting to rise, the Titans are in a very confused state of mind.

Beast Boy is running around the basement in circles, trying to follow a scent that doesn't lead anywhere. Cyborg is running tests on his equipment, trying to figure out why his suit is saying that Robin is there, when his eyes say his isn't—Robin is sure to teleport often so his infrared scanner doesn't get his exact location. Raven is trying to find his location through his emotions, but Robin is sure to keep them smothered; although he occasionally focuses on one intense feeling and allows Raven to come chasing after a shadow. And Starfire is still trying to convince Robin to join them again. He wants to laugh at her attempts, but he tells himself he must remain silent.

The sun is barely entering the Tower now, and Robin knows he has almost completed his mission.

"Robin?" Starfire calls, almost hopeful.

Robin turns. He can tell by the look on her face that she is having difficulty seeing him—he _is_ near a lightening window.

The look on Starfire's face makes Robin pause. She looks so helpless that Robin finds his heart going out to her before he can help himself, but he quickly smothers it—any emotion will surely be like a homing beacon for Raven. Robin finds himself wanting to reach out and comfort Starfire, but he manages to restrain himself before moving.

"Please, Robin."

Her words break Robin of his reverie. Has she always sounded so needy? Robin wants to leave even more now: he has no desire to be around anyone so desperate for his presence. How had he not noticed before? Had he been so infatuated with Starfire that he had overlooked such an obvious fact? Robin almost scoffs. It seems working for Slade has helped him realized more than just fighting moves—it's helped him sort through his feelings and find out who, and what, really matters to him. And right now, the only thing that matters to Robin is getting out of the Tower.

Robin smirks as he steps backward into the growing sunlight and sees the look of realization cross Starfire's face. He knows she understands exactly what he plans to do, and he can tell by the look of determination that crosses her face that Starfire plans on stopping him. But even with her great speed, Starfire isn't fast enough to catch Robin as he activates the Zirconium and teleports from the room.

Even from the rooftop, he can still hear Starfire's distraught cries.


	5. Comfort

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans. All characters go to their respectful owners. I only own this story.

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><p><strong>Comfort<strong>

The human mind is an amazing thing, Robin thinks. It has the ability to adapt to the most extreme scenarios to protect its self. He knows that if the mind weren't able to adapt to such situations, then he would never have been able to survive this long with his arch nemesis. And while he is relieved that he was able to adjust to being Slade's apprentice, Robin sometimes finds himself wondering—and worrying—what he would have been like if he had not been able to adapt.

Robin remembers when he first began working for Slade: he spends hours on end simply arguing with the man over whether or not he approves of what the villain is planning, fighting with fists instead of words when Slade still refuses to stop his plans. And after he loses—which he always does—Robin finds himself back in his small, empty room, left alone with his own mind.

It is nice at first, being away from Slade, and Robin is able to spend his alone time formulating a plan to escape. He searches his room for cameras, and is unsurprised when he finds none: Slade is smart enough to know how to hide a secret camera. So he goes back to his bed and lies down, staring at the ceiling and trying to formulate an escape plan. It isn't until Robin runs out of ideas that he realizes just how quiet the room is. That's when he hears the clocks.

Robin knows that the clock gears are inside the building—he has seen them—but he doesn't recall them being so loud the last time he listened to them. The continuous ticking is maddening, and even pulling his pillow over his head doesn't seem to help in blocking them out. So he begins to pace, steadily walking a path into the floor, and wonders—somewhere in the back of his crazed mind—if Slade is enjoying watching him suffer in this way.

By the time night falls, Robin is still pacing, and he hasn't come up with one escape plan.

Without the ability to adapt to particular situations, Robin knows he would have never gotten a good night sleep with the continuous ticking he heard from his room. Granted, it took several nights to get a full night's rest, but sleep is sleep is sleep, Robin thinks.

He thought he would go mad from listening to the continuous ticking of the clock: the constant grinding of the gears that never ceased to move. Now, Robin finds it almost relaxing to listen to as he drifts off to sleep. It's become such a common sound to him, having listened to it every time he has been sent to his room. When he closes his eyes, he can almost imagine that his ear is pressed to his mother's bosom and he's listening to the beating of her heart. It's a comforting thought, even though his mother has been dead for years. Or maybe that's why he is so content with this fact.

Sleep is easy to come by these days, now that he has adjusted to his surroundings. The clock sings him to sleep, and Robin finds himself mouthing off to Slade just so that he can be sent to his room again to listen to it. If nothing else, Robin thinks he could survive living with Slade with nothing other than the ticking and grinding of the clock gears for companionship. Maybe before becoming Slade's apprentice that thought would be frightening, but now that Robin has adapted to his surroundings and to the situation, he is unaffected by the simple idea that he no longer desires the companionship only other people can bring with them.

But this comfort does not last long once it is time for bed, for when Robin finally drifts to sleep, after listening to the gears for hours, he always returns to his nightmares. His nightmares do not consist of monsters or other creatures that may have frightened him when he was younger. He does not even dream of working for Slade anymore—although for the first few nights Robin would wake up in a cold sweat, hoping that the Slade in his dreams was more cruel than the actual one. Now, Robin finds himself dreaming up images that he isn't always sure are entirely from his own imagination.

Almost every night, when he falls asleep, Robin finds himself back in the Titan Tower, surrounded by his old friends. It's as though he never left: Beast Boy and Cyborg are sitting on the couch, fighting over who won the last match of the video game, Raven is sitting at the counter reading a book, and Starfire is attempting to bring everyone together to go out an eat pizza or just hang out at the mall. Robin is even surprised to see that his gadgets are still sitting on the table in front of the television, just like he left them. At first he is happy to see them all alive and well. It's almost as if he never left—he's even in his old suit. He is always standing in the main room, with everyone going about. The scene is always muted at first, and Robin is free to just observe.

While the world is silent, Robin is able to relax and even recall how much he enjoyed spending time with his old friends. He remembers how Beast Boy and Cyborg were never able to beat him in a video game, and how he and Raven could sit on the roof for hours on end, just talking. Their conversations were never about themselves and their personal troubles, but Robin felt that he was able to get a lot of what was sitting on his chest off while he spoke to her. Robin even recalls how he would, strangely, willingly go to the mall with Starfire to search for pointless items that none of the Titans needed.

And while he remembers all of the fun times he had with the Titans, Robin is content—happy, even. But then the sound kicks back in, and, like moths to a flame, they are all swarming around him, speaking with voices that are much too loud.

He tries to ask them to stop and back away—or at least not shout at him when he is only inches from them—but Starfire's excited squeals at his return drown him out. He tries to push them away, but Cyborg's crushing hug is too strong. He tries to escape to the safety of his own mind, but Raven is there, asking him questions he would rather not answer. He tries to block them all out, but Beast Boy's voice has a way of still being heard.

_Where have you been?_

_Are you all right?_

_How did you escape?_

_Did you kick Slade's butt?_

_I'm so glad to see you!_

_We haven't seen you in forever!_

_It's nice to see you again._

_Want to help me beat Beast Boy in some video games?_

_Tell us everything._

Robin wants to scream at them to get away, but there's no air. It's as if his friends have stolen all of the oxygen from the room and squeezed the air out of his lungs. He squirms and kicks, even going as far as punching several of the Titans in the face to get the message across that he does not want to be in the middle of all of this madness, but none of them notice his panicked expression and desperate attempts to escape. They only crowd closer and ask more questions.

He struggles as his breathing becomes more shallow and labored. There isn't enough air for him to breathe. Don't his friends understand that?

"They're not your friends if they don't care."

Robin looks over to where the voice sounds from, and is always surprised to see Slade. He doesn't know why he is still shocked at seeing him in his dreams: Slade always appears right before he wakes up again. Maybe he's still caught off guard because the air suddenly becomes breathable again, and no longer chokes him and weighs him down. Maybe he is surprised at the sight of his "master" because whenever he sees Slade, he isn't afraid anymore.

Soon after, Robin always wakes up.

His former friends don't surround him, and he isn't sleeping inside of a tower he hasn't been to in over a year; he's back in his empty room, listening to the soothing grinding of the clock gears in the background over the sound of his frantic heartbeat. He's dressed in his usual attire, not the outfit he used to dress in as a Titan that choked the air out of him and left him breathless after a difficult fight. He can hear the comforting sound of the ticking clock: the beating of his dead mother's heart.

And he can finally breathe again.


End file.
